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      Reality Finally  Has Hit 

                 ( sort of)

           The "Venerated"

          "Wine Spectator" 

Those of you that have often actually deigned to read beyond the food review feature of FrankAboutFood.com  and venture to "Wine Wisdom" know that while I do have some respect for the slick periodical known as the "Wine Spectator", I also hold it in some disdain.

The basic reason is that after one extracts all the advertising, there is little material worth reading for 98% of the wine drinkers of the world. All the pertinent and worthwhile information is contained in the two or three pages of those specific ratings: Highly Recommended, Best Values, Smart Buys and finally $300?? Collectibles. That's all you need. That should cost about a buck. 

In fact, you perhaps get better information from me in less time and it is FREEEEE!!!!

In most of the other cases, the "Spectator" reviewed wines that are so limited in supply, or whose prices are so ridiculous, that it is a waste of your time to seriously try to locate most of these potables. It is truly an exercise in "Mental Masturbation". 

That is why my following report on a "Wine Spectator" article called "A Wine Collectors Shootout" by Senior Editor James Suckling seems so remarkable. It pretty much supports my continual "Emperor's Clothes" position relating to much of the hype by the big name French and Napa cult wine producers. His article is essentially contra to what The "Wine Spectator" is usually all about. I'm surprised he still has a job. 

Essentially, Suckling's article revolved around a tasting event arranged by a group of (using his exact terminology) "Wine Gunslingers". They were a group of extremely affluent males, in the film or music business, from the Westside who were seriously caught up in the 3 Cs aspect  of  wine called conspicuous consumption collecting.   

The deal was that these guys (there were10 of them)  would bring a special bottle of Red (naturally) from their private collection to be blind tasted at a special gourmet meal prepared at Campanile, a long term in dining spot on La Brea. It happens to be very good. 

The punch line was that the two guys that brought the two lowest rated wines would pay the bill. Since the meal itself included a 1983 Rieussec Sauternes as dessert and the event utilized 110 individual Reidel glasses, the combination of corkage, food, that Rieussec, tax and (a hefty Westside type) tip, the dinner bill could have easily been over $2,000.
 

Guess what? The two least favored wines were French Bordeaux and they also were the most expensive and oldest wines in the competition. Tenth and at the bottom  was a cult 1970 Chateau Trotanoy, valued today at a very serious 3 figures. 30 years of cellaring.......... down the drain. 

Second from the bottom was a bigger shock. It was the famed 1989 Chateau Petrus. Wine Spectator just rated it as one of only 32 100 point (perfect) wines of the last 20 years. It had sold recently at auction for $1300. The Westside gunslinger that went down in this shootout of  materialism blew almost $3,000. Maybe his $50,000 custom wine cellar needs the filter cleaned on the cooling system. 

The final irony and total disrobing of the Emperors clothes took place when the top three were revealed. Not one was French, nor even a true Cabernet. First Place went to a 1999 Russian River Shiraz from Martinelli ! Martinelli?????

Second Place went to a 2002 Marquis Phillips Shiraz (from Australia, I believe).

 Most unbelievable of all was that Third Place went to a 2000 Gere Hill Attila Cuvee from ...........Hungary, leaving $1,000s of dollars of those other wines floating down the Danube. Since my maternal grandparents were from Budapest, my chest expanded with pride.  I guess that is where I must have gotten my superior palate for food and wine and other sensual pleasures. 

Since none of the top three were over 6 years old, while the bottom two were the oldest, it immediately highlights the suspect logic of long term cellaring. Essentially, it clearly means that in today's wine world, the risk of long term aging may be only for Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, the Saudi sheiks and some very insecure fools. 

The equally obvious conclusion is that with the exception of French (the only kind) Champagne, it is very hard to justify spending much more than $20 for any wine, red or white. If all these multi-millionaire wine mavens can't tell the difference between yesterday's $1,000 bottle of Petrus or Margaux and today's $25 bottle of Hungarian red, then what is the point. 

All that is left now is for the wine world to finally accept (again with the exception of Champagne) the usage of screw tops for wine. You can throw away all of your "Rabbits" clearing the drawers for more important utensils. You can take down that $300 monstrosity on the bar. You don't need to tip the sommelier to perform the simple unscrewing act. And important of all you can eliminate the frustration and embarrassment of a romantic picnic that never reached a climax for lack of a corkscrew.

Who is left that you have to impress?

In my case, I certainly don't know of anyone.